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, by Janis Abrahms Spring
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Product details
File Size: 1939 KB
Print Length: 355 pages
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; 2nd edition (January 22, 2013)
Publication Date: January 22, 2013
Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
Language: English
ASIN: B00APGI85I
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#32,181 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
If you're looking into this book and reading this review, chances are you have been devastated by infidelity recently. This book is straight forward and has helped me realize that my feelings towards my wife's infidelity are not only normal, but are something that I can overcome. I was absolutely shocked how the author hit the nail on the head with real world examples of exactly how i feel. I'm not done with the book yet but so far I have not been able to put it down. My wife and I are working on making our marriage work so I am having her read this book with me each night so she can understand my emotions and help herself deal with what lead her to cheat in the first place. This book is perfect- it helps both the hurt partner and the unfaithful partner understand their actions, their reactions to themselves and each other, and how to cope with ending or continuing your marriage.I was hesitant to purchase this because just reading the title stings a little. It's a terrible reminder of something that should never happen between two loving people. I feel like it takes a bold person to purchase a book like this because it seems so much easier to not think about the things that hurt us. I'm just a regular guy, not endorsed by the publisher or amazon, but I can tell you that the best thing you could do for yourself or your marriage is to add this book to your amazon cart and start healing the right way. Realize that your feelings are common and you're not crazy, irrational, or undesireable as you might think.What do you have to lose? The book was under ten dollars, cheap in regards to what I believe it's worth. Be strong enough to seek guidance because you are not alone. Good luck.
Look, most cheaters are inherently selfish. That's the main reason they cheat, for most of them. This book would fool you into believing you can overcome your partner's limitations in this area and have a happy marriage. I say bull! My husband showed me he was selfish before he cheated, I just didn't pay attention. That's my own nieve stupidity. I now know what is behind the saying once a cheater always a cheater, it's the fact that selfish people don't magically change and start behaving altruistically. This book tries to hold YOU the betrayed person partly responsible for your partner's selfish behavior. I disagree with that and it's why I can't give it a full recommendation. The author says, "Are you overreacting to the infidelity?" No way! You cannot overreact to a nuclear bomb that just obliterated your life!The book does do a good job of showing you that you're not alone in your pain, and might be able to explain to your partner why you hurt so bad. But in the end, your partner likely cares more about the fact they are facing consequences rather than the reality that they hurt you. If they cared about hurting you, they wouldn't have cheated in the first place. If your partner has cheated once and you want to work it out, get the book. If they have cheated more than one you probably need to leave. Cheating is abuse. She doesn't come right out and say that but she should. She beats around the bush at it. The most important thing is your own sanity and mental health. Take care of yourself, even if that means leaving.
This is such a great book . It has such detailed information and insight to understanding the whole of the affair. The author gives such a good breakdown for both sides and it has given me validation and clarity to wheat I have been experiencing through the separation. I love how the author gives examples through real client stories and also through research studies and scientific evidence. I'm still very hurt to what the affair has caused in my life and my children's life , but as I read through this book I have hope that I can A) move on and be okay or B) heave the right tools and guidance to rebuild my marriage if my husband is willing to also receive help, reconnect and recommit. I wouldn't hesitate to buy it again or for someone who is going through this. It's an outstanding book and easy to understand . If your longing to discover the "why's " and " what ifs " this is a great book to read.
This book has helped me & my marriage counselor gave it rave reviews & said it is one of the best books on the market right now. However, I dont like how unbiased it is. While it makes me understand my husbands feelings & what he did more it also made me feel that the wrongdoer didnt do anything 'wrong' in their section. I skimmed through the wrongdoer sections & didnt absolutely love what it said.
This book is good for couples who are considering working things out. There are "success indicators" that help the wounded partner feel a little safer in knowing what to look for to feel more assured the behavior won't re-occur. There are activities for both partners to go over together to help them explore the "whys" behind the infidelity to fix underlying issues and build a stronger relationship. There's a chapter on how to reunite physically after some healing has taken place.
My wife got the book first and I felt it necessary to read also. Very Informative as the unfaithful person I found this book causing me to look back at my entire life and what made me tick. Where my flaws lie and what I need to correct to either make my current relationship work or if that’s not to be how can I not make the same mistakes in future relationships
The book is not a bashing book but allows (if you are open) each side to see the perspective both partners. It does a good job detailing information and insight to understanding the whole of the affair. My mind was made up to walk away and file for divorce, my husband finally read this book and for the first time in 4 months changed his behavior and began having real conversations about the affair. We are not out of the woods and I'm not sure what will happen but we can at least have conversations that may lead to repairing the marriage. I highly recommend this book for many reasons.
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